i yam hashamed hof my sef + blog award

*clears throat* Make i use style clear the cobwebs wey done cover my blog first so we can discuss in a clean environment. How una dey? how body? hows has blog village been kicking it without Olori 1 of blogland? I cant even give excuses for this absense but God dey sha. Missed you all like you missed me :) To this business of the day, a big thank you to coy introvert and Mandy for this award. I think the rules say something about 7 random things about yourself well i like what Mandy did on her blog so I go just copy her way. Also I have to nominate 15 new blogs or so...........ive been away for a while o chei

Name your fav color
Black cos it goes with anything not because I was like a member of black bra or something. its just a very economical color chikena! Altho gold to sha can like to be looking segsy on me sometimes and then brown too.....u know.....light skin toh badt.....errfin (i really hate it when people write "errfin" in a text or bbm) goes....Iwota?

Name your favorite song
I don't have one because my fav musician is me and i dont have my album out yet (featuring vic o ofcourse and that vagina lady....whats dat her name again). I am in d middle of auditions so if u think u can sing bera than me send me a music or two. Ofcourse this blog will be getting first listening of the track.......who needs youtube?

Name your favorite dessert
Plain old vanilla biko not all this things bens and jerry are trying to come up with these days. not even that chocolate royal kind. the mr biggs type is the best. that one u can taste the cowbell milk they used inside

What pisses you off?
Where do I start biko. Well the one on my heart right now is overfamzing. For those who don't know, famzing is the art of forming like me and you are tighter than my hair weave cos we just happen to be from the same continent, country or state. I am okay with regular famzing afterall we gats bond together for obodoyibo nw plus there is always the possibility that my sisters husbands brothers wife's cousin is married to your friend's friend's uncle. however when u start to push the famzing limit then we gats an issue BOO BOO (shout out to evelyn of basketball wives miami..............is basketball wives miami better than LA. I think so.....they are just getting on the poor girl draya)Thats how one that I was just trying to do continent solidarity (he was from togo or ivory coast or sha one french speaking zone) with thought he had found wife and had the effontry to get angry in french when i turned down multiple attempts at hanging out. Ogini bu ka biko nu

When you are upset you?
Go to sleep and fantasize and dream of all the things I would say to you or do to you if I wasnt trying to keep my wafi side in check and keep it classy. Plus ive been watching all these prisons shows where u fought someone and they died and now ur in jail. Not my portion......theres no jail consequence when I give u the beat down in my mind biko and it feels at least 75% as good as actually hitting the person. half isi ewu is better than none

Your favorite pet It is rather the other way round..........I am money's favorite pet. It feeds me, takes me to the doctor, its substitutes taking me for a walk for taking me for a ride/flight and I complain not.
Black or white?
Now is this a race question or color question? I will push the question to the audience: black or white biko?

Your biggest fear "Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate but that we are powerful beyound measure" Somebody said it or something close sha, I like it, I don't know why I thought this was a correct response for this question but it feels appropriate.

Everyday attitude
One day at a time. Let go and let God. Don't take yourself too seriously...........life isn't that hard.

Your best feature My mind..............or so im told..........or maybe these yeye boys are just dropping foolish lyrics now. I will cash them. I am also particularly fond of my nails (but you know that chic that mourns every broken nail? yea.......IM NOT THAT CHIC)

What is perfection?
Living like Jesus Christ...Lord help your child..It's not easy oh...............stolen verbatim from Mandy's blog....

Guilty pleasure Nna not working out o. I have been trying to give JLO and Beyonce a run for their money but o di ro easy o. And so I have the african channel and ive been hooked to this old south african soap...Isidingo. Ok time to complain: bia ppl of african channel be showing nigerian soaps like doctors quarters and that one that has gbenro ajibade (cant remember the name sha but its on mnet)

And the nominees are:
1. This is a lazy thing to do BUT if you are newer than e to blogville and you see this, you are hereby awarded the versatile blog award by me and my lolos-in-councils

Prayer for September: Thanking God

Earthquake Okafor and Hurricane Irene plus other things

Hello peoples!!!!!!!!!!! I really need to update more regularly. That will be my new years resolution along with marrying Dangote and going to the moon :) anyway I was in Earthquake or Aftershock Okafor. Nna men dis oyibo do not like their lives. Just in film how something bad will be happening dey will be standing dere to watch film, e nu kwa? I will rather hear d story when I get out alive biko. They will be taking pictures to put on twitter or facebook or send to cnn. 

That is how it was. I was jejely at my desk doing what I was employed to do or maybe reading wall street journal and bbming. Suddenly suddenly, the floor shook. I said mba nu, o na construction. mind you im on d 5th floor so I wonder what kind of construction that will be. And for some reason I wore a sexy dress and my highest heels to work looking like a model from Elle magazine but at the time I kicked the heels off to chillax and tinz like a boss lady now. Anyway back to the story, then the second shake came. Nna see olori beating marion jones. Usain Bolt had norin on me u can best believe that. Shoe in hand (i dnt really know why i took d shoe sef) and fone in hand and I was jacking it off. my oyibo co workers were still asking wats going on. I never take the stairs so I didn't know where it was. As I was running I sawe ppl gathered near d elevator I said, kweke!!! wat r u ppl doing at elevator biko nu please show me the stairs. u could see the light bulbs going off in their heads like "oh thats true we need take the stairs". I think it was my run that put them on high jump. so we all ran towards stairs o my fone fell they said "olori ur fone" i said nna "forget that thing, to replace blackberry 9900 one bb sha o di very easy. my life is priceless. if we make it, i will find d fone later. as we were on second floor, on lady joined the race and she was now catwalking. nna men if not for the civil person in me she might have lost some teeth for that nonsense she tried.

Now the shock wasnt like Japan or anything but me i thought it was the pre-shock to a major earthquake so my thought was get out fast so that building wont fall on me. Some thought it was a bomb and for where I work, that is a very feasible assumption. Anyway, we got out fine and we heard it was aftershock. I was already reminding God that He said that He can't lie to me so this is not how I am going to die. Well my God came through for me biko. Infact my co worker said when next there is a natural disaster he will follow me because the way I was clearing people from my way, o di kwa too impressive.

Now I don't know where we have hurricane and earthquake in the same week but here we are o. We haven't been told to evacuate (DC chilling *woop woop*) and the weather looks all peaches and cream this morning so I have faith it doesn't hit us too bad. God already answered my prayers of reducing the intensity so no shaking. to those who have to evacuate, please stay safe....THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO DO ODEISHI NWA NNEM.....poison no dey kill black man, hurrican irene does.


UN Bombing
I was so pissed off by the bombing yesterday of the UN building. when did this rubbish start in 9ja biko. I haven't checked who claimed the bombing but I suspect boko haram with their al qaeda connects cos i doubt boko is that sophisticated. Dis is wat we get when we deal with these ppl with kids gloves. well this got international attention so I guess this will put pressure on GEJ to act. Military should be fully deployed to these zones. or better still let MEND handle boko haram pls. A rogue will know a rogue. my prayers to the friends and families of those who lost their lives or got injured. 

Mercy and Lovely
Lovely and Mercy J baby. Lovely, you kinda took your time to come out with your story o. their relationship was never really a secret to the public yet you waited till one month to their wedding to prove your case. to me that doesn't look like you are serious about the marriage. As for Mercy, if stuff hits the fan, you can't say you weren't warned. Happy Married or Marriage life (i forget how they say it) Mercy.

Real Housewives of New Jersey and back talking kids + basketball wives LA
So if you watch RHWNJ,  you know Ashley. The over grown baby. I don't know where you get off talking to your parents like that. School you no wan go. Work you no wan work. And she cant even realistically use the single mum or broken family excuse or rationale here because all four parents have tried their best for her. I think she should spend a week in 9ja with my aunt.  Even russian dolls (the new russian hrybrid between jersey shore and real housewives of NJ), the mum asks her a simple question and she calls her a B*tch. Well lets just say I will be whipping my kids to order. 9 Months aint no joke.

So you remember the chick in basketball wives miami whose sister supposedly slept with Shaq and made Shaunie divorce him. How she was all playing Mrs over secure home and she doesn't play all these petty games. well from the preview, she looks like she is the Evelyn of LA so I will def be watching...tune in monday at 8 or 9 or 10pm on VH1

Arsenal
In God we trust.............I hope my power doesn't go out so I can watch the Man U vs Arsenal game. I will need to pray and fast to atleast come out with a draw in that match. And all the red cards dey have been given us this season. so far, a red in ever game.......we dey watch u o awon referees association, we can like to start anoda riot o.

And Madam Patience Dame GEJ has been MIA for a while so in dedication to her.........Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan ka ge so, o ne me me o na ma ma, Jonathan ka ge so......I am too lazy to find the video but use your mind imagine am. See you on your blogs and have a lovely weekend!

Dey better not cancel premier league matches o!!!!

This is supposed to be short cos na vex bring me here so make i talk my thing comot. On second thots, how una dey? how body? hope everything is senge menge wir u? *in my "fune" infused ibotic voice*

Bia london people and the people of ukey. OGINI ZI? TANI GBO GBO RUBBISH NOW? u ppl didnt fight and riot since its now when the Premier League season is about to start that you people want to dey misbehave. Dem kill person don turn free looting for all. una dey help gucci and apple reduce inventory for next season supply abi. thunder fire you who send you? Una no go fight for chelsea and manchester na for north london una get power. nd why can't the police just throw bomb tear gas and end this madness biko. PLS let dem not cancel my Arsenal match dis saturday o.

The future of art: my artistic expression

This post is dedicated to ppl like prizm :) who want to intimidate blogsville with their artistic works. I say MBA NU NU NU NU to that oppression. I stand for all the drawing challenged people to present a masterpiece. A dim very serious. I put hours minutes into this and it was blood, sweat and tears.


Below is my workspace and drawing tools and materials:

As you can see, I have pots and glass dere and remote control.  I didnt have color so used the chalk I had (when life throws u flour make puff puff no ni) I didnt know what I will be drawing at this point so I got the pot and the glass so I can use dem to draw circle and the remote control to draw a straight line. Dont laff at me o. u all know u used those round sharpeners to draw circle in class. even in math class when they asked us to draw clocks and tell the time. Anyway back to wat i was saying. I am an artist that lets my tools and environment speak to me so I can get inspiration on what to draw (so yea the wine glass at the back with ace of spades ginger ale in it, wasnt part of this madness lol)



My inspiration:
I have been watching the food channel all day (bad idea if you want to lose weight by the way) so I was inspired by food. In addition to that are the following materials in the picture below, I was inspired by Arsenal (Aug 13th *yayyyyyyyy*) and ofcourse, Prizm herself. ohhh yes and the african woman in all her african queen aura.

The finished masterpiece: Picasso gat norin on me

For all of you doing LWKMD.............dar is your bizwax lol. Anyway let me explain this creation:

• First of all, you have got to love the make up. the rosy red cheeks and blue smokey eyes is perfect for ur nite out in mushin. even nikkisho will appreciate this
• Definitely very stylish as we African queens are, she is rockin her fendi (yes dats fendi) and her blackberry bold 8 in her pocket - White bb bold with red trimmings - not even on the market yet (computer village fit get am sha o)
• Then the gele is cut from the same cloth as the above purse.....its a classic material. My grandma rocked it (and probably still rocks it sef) and I rock it now
• The gala carton is obvious there. You know how they always sell coconut chips with gala...well thats reality depicted perfectly right here
• And for those asking how come d carton is 3D and her body is 2D......well na so I wan do am. that is the future of art...be ni!!! you infuse 3D with 2D to have 2.5D......the best artists think outside the box.....did i hear u say monalisa and da vinci? Awwww....ur far too kind to compare my work to the work of such masters lol
• And for those who can't spot the arsenal necklace....shame on you lol. and na eye glasses dey her chest o

U gats bend ur eye and mind to understand the beauty of this masterpiece LOL ...... Have a lovely weekend people

We are not a country of bombers or wife butcherers + PHCN + randoms

I am all for the rule of law in dealing with criminals but our elders say a child that will not allow the mother to sleep doesn't deserve sleep. If Boko Haram people want to die for whatever cause they believe in....all well and good. However, when innocent lives are taken in the cross fire, something serious has to be done....if its die dey want to die then GEJ give them death simple. Dora will be shouting rebranding efforts and how saying "naija" is bad for the country. How about being looked at the way the world looks at arabs now. I have nothing against them but truth be told I look out for them unconsiously when I am in an aircraft just to plot how I will jackie chan them if they try rubbish (we all know not only arab looking people are bombers) plus the extra prayers I say at take off and landing and maybe during d flight by reflex sef. We are still trying to shake off our 419 image so I REFUSE to let bombers be added to the list of things Nigerians are.

I have always said it that this Boko Haram was a front for Al Qaeda because we have always been a country split 50% Muslim and 50% Christian and for the most part we have co-existed together without any quanta. We had head of states and presidents from both religions.....atleast we don't zone by religion. so why all of a sudden this jobless buffoons want all of Nigeria to live by their ideals. Anyway to the solutions I have proposed (Seriously) ...... rule of law aside in some options:

1. BOMB THEM ALL: My gut reaction is for Nigerian army to drop a bomb that levels all of maiduguri and bauchi one time. However there are innocent people living there so this is last resort.
2. EFCC: if its to be catching useless people and having bogus trials that let the people go scot free or go with minimum punishment, they are good at that one. When it comes to issues of national security they are useless, just like they were with the 9ja delta situation. If you cut their money, lemme see how they will be arrange themselves.
3. NIGERIAN IMMIGRATION: If only we make people suffer like American and UK embassies suffer us when we are applying for visa mayb such Al Qaeda trainees will not be in the country. I don't even think we have no fly list. Osama could have been lounging in 9ja sef, pepper souping and big stouting with OBJ in ota and there will be no shaking. Al Qaeda recognizes the potential this county has. They have been saying we will be in top 10 most populous countries in a few years.......we could be another China or India and be an emerging economic super power........everybody but us is seeing that and we are going to miss that opportunity if we don't wake up......hu wants to invest or return home to a bomb ridden country?
4. MUSLIM CLERICS AND SANUSI: I believe this is already being done but the elders of the religion should call these people to order because I strongly believe that just like Al Qaeda, they are mis using the religion of Islam to carry out their yeye anger. Islam isn't a violent religion. Sanusi has been implementing some conservative banking practices since he came in and on one hand, those have been good for the economy I hope. However, with his new push for Islamic banking and I think it was punch that said he said Al Qaeda applied for the license too.......something is fishy there.
5. MILITARY: now the way I heard this gist from mumsys ex driver (e fit no true).....was that when Tafa was IG of police, the reason why crime in Lagos (atleast dat was where d gist was about) was some criminals didn't live to get a trial.....they "mysteriously" died before trial because they where occupying jail space and that put some fear into the other men of the nite. Now robbers are having a filled day in Lagos because they will put them in jail, that is if they get caught, and they will employ charge and bail lawyers. A rogue knows how to deal with a rogue. They employed joint task force in the 9ja delta region abi, no wahala......send the same to the Boko Haram zone with a shoot at sight order.


Feel free to add your own solutions, a stubborn child needs a strong cane.


Wife killer: I will keep this plain and simple. Wife battery is one thing, wife slaughtery is another. This nicompup said she stabbed her self abi. First it was d devil. I don't have strength for this because blogsville has covered this alot already. I sha pray there won't be a casey anthony repeat here. It is at times like this that I am happy that we are a capital punishment country......mental exam my foot. infact a few months is kiri kiri with hard labor while he awaits death row will remove d madness from him *long hiss*

PHCN: this is going to be short. You didn't give light at the lower tarrif now you have mind to increase rate abi...ko bu ru. By the time I visit village and come back una go know. And its like we now function better without light. After the took light in the Nigeria vs Canada game (female world cup ppl) yesterday, Pepetua Nwokocha scored the winning goal of a game that seemed destined to end in a goal less draw. Speaking of football, I cant wait for premier league to start jo......the news from the Arsenal camp isnt pleasant at all but in Arsene we trust....gba gbe!!! Fabregas can like to jump 6th mainland bridge

Randoms: I admit that I am by no means or way or form a technology person but for some reason, it has been JAMB question trying to comment on the following blogs that seems to use an advanced for of blogger: LDP, Rust GEEK and some others sha. please any help with that will be appreciated. To those sick, Mena e be like say I hear say u sick or mayb I miss hear, GET WELL SOON!

Prayer for the month of July: Fruit of the womb

Isaiah 54:1 “Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;
break forth into singing and cry aloud,
you who have not been in labor!
For the children of the desolate one will be more
than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;
do not hold back; lengthen your cords
and strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left,
and your offspring will possess the nations
and will people the desolate cities.

4 “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;
be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;
for you will forget the shame of your youth,
and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
5 For your Maker is your husband,
the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.
6 For the Lord has called you
like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
like a wife of youth when she is cast off,
says your God.
7 For a brief moment I deserted you,
but with great compassion I will gather you.
8 In overflowing anger for a moment
I hid my face from you,
but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord, your Redeemer.

Prayer: This is a prayer I pray for 2 people close to my family waiting on God for children. God is the same today, yesterday and forever. The God of Sarah and Hannah and Elizabeth will answer your prayer for children in Jesus name. 

Wedding proposals: big deal or small affair?

This video has been going round and the lady obviously looks happy and excited and everything. However  I don't really envy her. I think I know only 2 people (myself included) who actually want a quiet proposal. I have nothing against loud proposals its just dat my personality prefer a quiet one....like to keep everything in house....until the wedding which at this point i think will just be a big gift to my mum. Im really not too bothered about the details...just showing up will be good lol. With that I started thinking of how I want to be proposed to. Future husband GEJ Adenuga Dangote  please take note.

Preferred option:
Gentleman: *from across the room during arsenal vs man u match where arsenal is leading 5 - 0 during UEFA finals* Babes will you marry me?
Olori: No wahala now but bruv wey d ring now
Gentleman: *hands me d ring while we are both jumping for arsenals 6th goal* take
Olori: *with banga soup spoon in my hand* if i slap you you will get down on one knee We both love walcott but can you do it properly hun
Gentleman: *on one knee* Aya mi will you marry me?


Other options:
Olori: Sugar pumpkin why d frown?
Gentleman: Olori dont you think dis our dating thing is becoming too long
Olori: why all of a sudden now
Gentleman: I just want to spend d rest of my life with you
Olori: Can you please pass me my plate of banga soup and starch
Gentleman: *passing me the plate* Olori I am being serious
Olori: Goal!!!!!!!! *Arsenal scores their 3rd goal against barca and messi breaks leg*
Gentleman: Olori!!!!!
Olori: love I am sorry you know dis is a hot match....what were we saying now
Gentleman: will you marry me? *on one knee with ring*
Olori: *smiles uncontrollably* Ofcourse honey munchkin

And yeah im really particular about the one knee. So is a loud proposal kinda like the big diamond engagement ring or kinda like the wedding gown? Is the way he or she proposes a bigger or lesser or equal deal than the dress or ring...all round im not too particular about any. Do you like a loud or quiet proposal and if you have been proposed too before you can like to share the story. I am sure nothing can beat my above two options :). Lastly, can you get married on the same day you get proposed too? I over think things too much so I def cant be that spontaneous.

Cash ya laras....I am so happy I got to do a post today...been so busy. God pass dem jo

The real 419 story

*long post but most of the paragraphs in color you can skim*

Ok so I am in the middle of moving to the dc area *excited* so I was looking for a decent, SAFE, cheap place to live. Despite what I have heard that decent places start at $1000+ in the dc area, my lovely budget was $700 a month. Now some people call me a cheap skate cos I could easily afford $1000 and up but why would I do that when I can get the same bang for my buck at $700 right. So ofcourse the go to place for cheap skates like me: CRAIGSLIST. Now since the whole craigslist killer thing, I have been apprehensive of getting anything or anyone of craigslist. But to get $700 in dc, i figured that was the way to go. I also found a mover for $15/hr.....GENIUS. Anyway back to the rent. So I saw a few $1000 plus places on there but then I saw a string of $700 postings that were really catching my eye, about 3 of them. From the description, it was to die for but the only thing was that they didnt put up pictures. so i emailed all of them and I gave them my list of things and asked if the apartment and apartment complex had those. Then I asked if I could come see the place. Here are the emails I got from the 3 "different" people:

Email 1:

Thanks for your email and it is my gladness hearing from you. I am Reverend James Alfredo, the owner of the apartment you are making inquiry about. Actually I resided in the apartment with my family, such as my wife and my only daughter before and presently we had packed due to my transfer from my working place and now situated in Beijing,China. and presently my apartment is still available for rent for $660 per month including the utilities like hydro, washer and security,it is fully furnished.


        More so Now, I went for a Crusade in Beijing,China.and I will like you to get in touch with my wife for more discussion as she is with the keys and the document to the house. Please i want you to note that, I am a kind and honest man and also i spent a lot on my property that i want to give you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute maintenance of this apartment and want you to treat it as your own,is that taken,it is not the money the main problem but we want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i came for a check up.i do that once in a while.I also want you to let me have trust in you as i always stand on my word.Where are you located and where do you see our advert also let us know if you need more pictures.




Email my wife  Elizabeth on (*i took out the email addy*@gmail.com) and she will attend to you better with more information and pictures.


Thanks and you are welcome.
Rev. James Alfredo.

Email 2: 

Thanks for your email and it is my gladness hearing from you. I am Reverend James Lens, the owner of the apartment you are making inquiry about. Actually I resided in the apartment with my family, such as my wife and my only daughter before and presently we had packed due to my transfer from my working place and now situated in Beijing in China and presently my apartment is still available for rent for  per month is $700 including the utilities like hydro, washer and security,it is fully furnished.

More so Now, I went for a Crusade in Beijing in China and I will like you to get in touch with my wife for more discussion as she is with the keys and the document to the house. Please i want you to note that, I am a kind and honest man and also i spent a lot on my property that i want to give you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute maintenance of this apartment and want you to treat it as your own,is that taken,it is not the money the main problem but we want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i came for a check up.i do that once in a while.I also want you to let me have trust in you as i always stand on my word.Where are you located and where do you see our advert also let us know if you need more pictures.




Email my wife Jennifer on (*i took out the email addy*@gmail.com ) and she will attend to you better with more information and pictures.



Thanks and you are welcome.

Rev James Lens


Email 3:

Hello,


    Thanks for your email and it is my gladness to hearing from you . My name is Rev Roland Rohr the owner of the Condo you are making inquiry of....Actually I reside in the Condo with my family,such as my wife and my only daughter before and presently we had packed due to my transfer from my working place and and presently my Condo is still available for rent including the utilities like hydro/heat dry washer and security and bills, everything in the Condo is fully furnished.More so Now,I went for a crusade in Western Region of Africa and i will like you to get in touch with my wife in London United Kingdom for more information regarding the Condo as She is with the keys and the document to the Condo Pls i want you to note that,I am a kind and honest man and also i spent alot on my property that i want to give you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute maintenance of this Condo and want you to treat it as your own, money is not  the main problem but want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i come for a check up.i do that once in awhile.I also want you to let me have trust in you as I always stand on my word.


Condo Address :*i took out some of the address* Arlington, VA 22204


Please Kindly  email my wife Emily, (*i took out the email addy*@gmail.com) and she will attends to you better on how to proceed.
Thanks and God bless you
Reverend Roland Rohr 

Knowing that something was up at this point, I still proceeded to email the wives and only 2 got back to me and this were their replies:

Wife of email 2: 

Hi ,


My husband and I owners of the Apartment . It was due to my husband transfer that makes us to leave the Apartment and also want to give it out for rent a looking for a responsible person that can take very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean at the time and the person that will rent it to take it as if it were its own. So for now, Am here in Beijing in China our new house so viewing at this time will not be possible...Hope you are not offended by that and also with the keys of the Apartment, We try to look for an agent that we can give this document before we left but could not see and were as well as don't want our house to be used any how in our present that is why we took it along to us here and as you know that, My husband over in Beijing in China for a Christian Mission of God, So I hope you will promise us to take very good care of the Apartment. So get back to me on how you could take care of our Apartment. Hope you are okay with the price with hydro, Heat laundry facilities, Air condition, Internet and so on, View more pictures at the attach file.. I look forward to hearing from you ASAP so that I can forward you rent application to fill out and discuss on how to get the keys/documents and move in,also are you ready to rent it now or when ?


MORE DETAILS:-
FULLY FURNISHED
SHORT/LONG TERM RENT
SPACIOUS AND LIGHT
KITCHEN BREAKFAST ROOM
POPULAR AREA
ONE BEDROOM
GOOD TRANSPORT LINKS
PARKING SPACE.

Reception room 14'5 x 10'5 (4.39m x 3.18m)
Bedroom 14'5 x 10'2 (4.39m x 3.1m)
Kitchen 5'0 x 3'5 (1.52m x 1.04m)
Bathroom 9'1 x 6'8 (2.77m x 2.03m)

Await your reply soon.

Thanks and God Bless You

Mrs Jennifer. 

Wife of email 1: 

Hi,


My husband and I owners of the Apartment . It was due to my husband transfer that makes us to leave the Apartment and also want to give it out for rent. and looking for a responsible person that can take very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean at the time and the person that will rent it to take it as if it were its own. So for now, Am here in Hawaii, United States our new, i came down here for a proper treatment, because i have a problem with my earing. so my husband received all calls because i cannot hear very well.. so viewing at this time will not be possible...Hope you are not offended by that and also with the keys of the Apartment, We try to look for reputable agent that we can give this keys and document too,but we did not see that is the reason why we came down here with the keys and documents. we as well as don't want our house to be used any how in our absent that is why we took it along to us here and as you know that, My husband over in Beijing, China. for a Christian Mission of God, So I hope you will promise us to take very good care of the Apartment. So get back to me on how you could take care of our Apartment. Hope you are okay with the price with hydro, Heat laundry facilities, Air condition, Internet and so on, View more pictures at the attach file.. I look forward to hearing from you ASAP so that I can forward you rent application to fill out and discuss on how to get the keys/documents and move in,also are you ready to rent it now or when ?


MORE DETAILS:-
FULLY FURNISHED
SHORT/LONG TERM RENT
SPACIOUS AND LIGHT
KITCHEN BREAKFAST ROOM
POPULAR AREA
ONE BEDROOM
GOOD TRANSPORT LINKS
PARKING SPACE.

Reception room 14'5 x 10'5 (4.39m x 3.18m)
Bedroom 14'5 x 10'2 (4.39m x 3.1m)
Kitchen 5'0 x 3'5 (1.52m x 1.04m)
Bathroom 9'1 x 6'8 (2.77m x 2.03m)

Await your reply soon.
Thanks and God Bless You
Love In Christ.
Mrs Elizabeth

Wife of email 3:

Hello,

Its very Nice to Read from you,My name is Emily wife of Rev Roland  Rohr owner of the 1 Bedroom Apartment for rent  out,so we are looking for a responsible person that can take Very Good care of the apartment..My husband in respect who owned the apartment and I also want you to know that it was due to my husband Missionary Transfer that made us to leave the apartment,so we want you to take very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean at the time and the person that will rent it to take it as if it were its own.So for now I am now at LONDON UK,and more also i am with the keys and document of the apartment,We try to look for an agent or friends that we can give this Keys and document before we left but could not see and we are as well as don't want our apartment to be used any how in our Absent that is why i brought the keys along with me here.As you know that,my husband over in Western Region of  Africa for his Job is also wanting a good tenant,so i hope you will promise us to take very good care of the apartment.

So pls get back to me on how you could take care of our apartment or perhaps experience you have in renting apartments, My husband how ever told me that you spoke like a lovely person to him in the first e-mail you wrote to him,Hope you are okay with the price  per Month ($977) with utilities like :- Stove - Electric ,Refrigerator, Microwave ,Ice Maker ,Full Kitchen ,Coffee maker ,TV/VCR ,Stereo ,Phone ,Linens provided ,High Speed Internet ,CD Player ,Cable/Satellite TV,Double/twin zip & link beds and a child's cot can be provided ,Fitted wardrobe, Kitchen Electric hob/oven,Kitchen utensils ,Microwave ,Washer & dryer ,Refrigerator & freezer ,Toaster ,Electric kettle ,Iron and ironing board ,TV & DVD ,Telephone and Fast internet access ,Pedestal Fan ,Free parking. I look forward to hearing from you asap so that I can forward you an application to fill out and discuss on how to get the apartment for rent,View attached file for the apartment pictures... Looking forward to hear from you soon.and below is the address of the apartment, So if you are OK with this pls request for an application form in your next e-mail... am so sorry that i cannot call you because some problems with my mobile phone,pls bear with me, My husband would be the one to call you once you have filed out the application form..and also you could call him.....  



Thanks and God bless you
Love in Christ

Also they sent me the exact same pictures when I asked for apartment pictures. At this point, I decided to follow the Jennifer lady to see where this was going, half hoping it wasn't what i thought it was...419. So I send her an email asking when she will be back as I need the place for 2 years and I don't know how long their "mission" is for. She proceeds to not answer that question and then send me a "rental application". I go along with her, filling the application and refusing to give her personal info like my address and stuff. In this email, along with my "completed" application, I asked her 3 times, in bold and yellow highlight, asking that since she couldn't show me the place, she should at least tell me the building name so I can know where it is and then give me the apartment managers name so I can talk to someone. She again ignores my questions and tells me that I have been approved. No property manager worth his/her salary will approve my application. Anyway she says I should send her $1200 which is $700 rent and $500 security deposit or $1600 which is $1400 rent for 2 months and then $200 security deposit. I should send the money via Western Union to them in China and as soon as they get the money they will send the keys and documents to me via dhl.........EHN, by virtue of the fact that I carry a 9ja passport, I shan't be mugurized o. So please if you see people with these name of Craigslist, please beware o.  The most annoying part is how they are throwing around Christianity and God to deceive people. God is merciful o


On that note: anybody with info on decent, safe places to live in dc or northern virginia and even maryland sef, where the commute to NE dc (red line zone) isn't terrible pls let me know o biko. My budget has been officially increased o to more normal levels for the dc area.

Prayer for the month of June: Thanksgiving

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving And His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name." Psalm 100: 4. Bible verse motivated by the song: I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter His courts with praise, I will say this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice for He has made me glad. I have a lot of testimonies at the moment so those who have testimonies too, I implore you to be thankful as well, even for the little things. For those who are still keeping the faith, the God that did my own will make Psalm 100:4 your portion in Jesus Name.


P.S: I have a lot of family members and close close friends with birthdays this month so happy birthday to you all june babies, especially my darling younger brother and sister!!!!!!!

Apologies + pregnancy + 419 + housekeeping

Ok so im pregnant.........will get to that later on. Again, this is going to be a long post :) but keep reading, you may find what you like.

Apologies
Sorry, Pele, ndo!!!! I know ive been MIA for a while but no be my fault. I've been extremely busy, traveling and dealing with a lot of people....wooo fedex should employ me for logistics management cos when you can safely deal with a rowdy, demanding 9ja bunch, u don try abeg. Needless to say im tired but we thank God o. I can't complain too much because I am busy due to answered prayers. When they say God's time is ALWAYS on time and that "For the vision [is] yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." I am a living testimony. So my brothers and sisters, the GOD that buttered my bread shall put sugar in your tea o!!!!! Keep the faith


Pregnancy
I am not pregnant jo............*NTA 2, chanel 5, ela oju kan* lol Ok so I promised this post a while ago so I may still just ramble on but no wahala. Ok so let me get the Christian perspective out of the way. As some of you have already said: our body is the temple of God so no kokolization before marriage. However, as with many issues, I don't think cause you got pregnant before marriage you will go to hell or cause you didnt you will go to heaven. Now I don't personally know a lot of people that have gotten pregnant before marriage but I have heard stories of when all ended well despite the bele on wedding day. That being said, there are a few groups of people that pre-wedding pregnancy really doesn't sit well for me. Now its not my place to judge put I can say my opinion jare.


1. Teen/young mothers: I am a strong watcher of 16 and pregnant. For these ladies, I don't even think getting married would help their kids have a more stable home cos everything was messed up from the dating start. Most got pregnant by mistake after few months of dating, having sex kinda sorta out of peer pressure, without a care in the world. A kid can't raise a kid. Forget all the welfare something sef, these young parents, by having these kids so young (even with family support), don't give their children the chance to be very useful to society...the statistics are against them and then it starts a cycle, coupled with poverty and all, that becomes difficult for generations to break. That's just a bit selfish to me. However, when I think of 9ja, once you get over the initial stigma part, with all the family and househelps we have around, you may still be able to get you act together so as to give your child a better future.......THIS IS NOT ADVOCATING FOR 9JA TEENS TO GO GET PREGNANT BIKO.


2. Celebrities: Now it is done here in the US too but I will focus more on the 9ja ones because that is what prompted this post. As a PHD holder in nollywood affairs and PHD candidate for 9ja celeb news, it has come to my notice that a lot of them seem to be getting pregnant before they get married. Now it really isn't our business.....i dont even think its something you can say oh young girls and boys look up to you so its bad. What worries me more is that the rumors seem to be that the pregnancy prompted the wedding or the baby daddy is unknown.....none of which is best for the child (ofcourse there are exceptions with strong single mothers and daddys holding it down and pregnancy induced marriages that end well). Just to clarify, if you are getting married and you get pregnant before wedding day, dats one thing. but if you weren't really on the marriage path and just to save face you get married cos of the the pregnancy, yawa fit gas (this is what I mean by pregnancy induced wedding...hope the difference between the 2 is clear ppl). A chilling case in point: Uche Iwuji. Now if you dont really watch 9ja films you may not know here because she isn't a consistent face in movies. However, you may have come across her interview on linda ikeji's blog. The gist of the thing was that she had a miscarriage which is sad but the chilling part was that the baby daddy seemed nothing more than friends with benefits and she was ok with that. Again, not a good something for the child.


Solutions to out of wedlock pregnancy: I know there are churches that do pregnancy test before allowing you to wed in the church and some schools sef that do pregnancy test before allowing you to graduate. Ermm all that is a but extra too me now. Ok so if they are pregnant and you won't allow them to wed, shey dey should go and abort it (another sin) or live unmarried and keep having kids (which is also not Biblically ok). I get the point that maybe its to discourage sex before marriage but as sisi Mena pointed out, children are gifts from God. Shey dey will start givin breath analyzer test on sunday morning before service to see if you drank alcohol or something cos some ppl head to church from d club. While I get trying to uphold the doctrines of the faith, the approach is a bit extra for me jo


Exceptions to the rule: I know the Bible doesn't advocate sex before marriage and really holds matrimony as sacred. However, I don't believe that marriage is a fix for all problems.....maybe slightly feeling that marriage may not be all that it is cracked up to be. And then I read a passage that said that said something like: there will be a time when people will be decieved that marriage isn't all that and they can do without it. I really can't remember the passage but it was as if God was saying, "Olori, you better be thinking of the marriage because it is for you and all my children. don't be deceived". God definitely heard my mums prayers cos she cant wait to plan wedding!  That being said, if you wait till you get married to have sex or have kids, that doesn't mean the marriage will be wonderful or your kids will turn out better than the teenage, single mums kids. People like Oprah and Brad and Angelina are lovers that live together and have kids and all seems well. Whereas there are Christian homes where the rules were followed and daddy is molesting daughter and mother cant speak out.


Question: in the last post someone said she did her legal/court wedding 6 months back but was 2 months pregnant on the wedding day so does that count as out of wedlock pregnancy? 


Answer: I dont know :) because I am tired but off the top of my tired head, I will say it depends so thats a yes and no. I will think about it and explain better when I return for the second post. That being said, this post may not really apply to you cos you don't seem to fall in the pregnancy induced marriage category....see definition above :)................ppl what do you think, does she qualify as out of wedlock pregnancy?


Anyway, the floor is now open to you guys, feel free to agree, disagree, expantiate and discuss.


P.S: I really do have a 419 story and I need to shout out to some bloggers (prizm and hazel and Myne: wetin sick you now?) and then those of you have been commenting and stopping by despite my absence (A very big thank you!!!) but tire hook me for neck like bow tie so later on today or tomorrow, I shall gist you dat one

Random ramblings of the sleep deprived

ok well i was determined by 1am when I went to bed but now it is 8.17 so I guess I gave up at about 5/6am and I am hoping to go all the way till 11pm so as not to mess up my sleep schedule.....but i think ill crash sometime before then. Anyway, to the random ramblings:

P.S: long post but keep reading, u fit find something wey u like :)

• The number one reason why I am trying to stay up, atleast for the next 4 hours is because Arsenal is playing Aston Villa at 10/11am. Now I know the haters are yabbing us saying another trophyless season plus the defeat last week was just irritating. that being said, as long as we close out the season with a win over aston villa and a few goals from van persie and walcott and maybe nasri, I am good...HATERS CAN KEEP ON HATING :) Now if Fabregas wants to leave abeg he should leave cos his performance and demeanor on the field has not be gingering me. He can go and warm bench in barca...nonsense and ingredients. Vermaleen can like to come back from his injury abeg (i hear he may play today....he can like to give us welcome goal like Ramsey did). Walcott better fully live up to the hype or cos this hot today and cold tomorrow gats to stop. Wenger....we need a trophy...nuff said on dat one
• Still on sports, this one is an anger ive been carrying for a while. one of my higlights for the summer is to watch the lakers play in the playoffs and now they are out. Kobe aka ko boy aka kokoma....i cant believe u let me down. but our love is strong so next season. plus lamar or wareva dey call u if khloe and being on the numerous kardashian shows is distracting u, we may need to be talking divorce now..jk..u r busy doing fragrance and clothing line wen d team is losing to one yeye team hiss
• ok so i spent most of this night/morning on nairaland. Thank God for no nepa taking light here o. if i was in 9ja, mosquito would have used me to do isegwari. Anyway, I am typically interested in doing small businesses (salon, grocery, drycleaning, cybercafe.....dat kain thing.....not the next facebook or anything) in Nigeria so I am always looking at what people have to say on those issues: start-up costs, operating costs, challenges etc (pls feel to contribute ur knowledge on such topics abeg). I have to say the threads are comical with 9ja ppl trying to turn everything to business. any small thing u talk dey will say i hve business idea and need partner so email me or call me. the frequency at which i see such posts makes me a tad bit suspicious of the people and i question if they really have any useful info. but then i have to give huge kudos to those who give free info on there for anything.....u really learn alot...info and knowledge is power o. then ofcourse there are the ppl calling out other ppl for being 419 nd then they have their back and forth and other ppl (u know as we dey do aproko) will now join and be insulting or calling out the supposed 419er. i find it interesting that when someone does business with someone on the thread and it goes bad, they will come and shout....which i clearly understand. afterall u no come lagos or obodoyibo come count bridge. however, if and when the business deals go well, we never hear d testimony on the thread. however, someone started a thread for people to give testimony of whatever good experience they had doing business with nairalanders. It is quite encouraging to see standup 9ja ppl because all we hear about is the 419 ppl. anyway the interesting business idea that seems to be making the rounds is haulage business. apparently u buy truck or tipper (prices range from N2.5m - N5m and above from what i gather) and can give some ppl to manage and they will give u monthly returns of N350K - N550K.....so u can imagine how hot cake it is on the site. however, as they say if something looks too good to be true, it actually is. i think the ppl asking to manage it maybe legit, where i think the problem comes in is in the stated monthly return....na there story go start.
• oh then i watched pastor sam adeyemi of daystar online .....sexuality and the mind is the title of the message. then i saw joel osteen on tv.....something about if God puts in a word for u, no body can put sand sand in your garri. put in the 9ja songway, when Jesus say yes, nobody can say no....up up Jesus, down down satan...everybody. strongly feeling both messages......i no go church today.
• Blogger oooooo, if not for d fact that today is sunday, u would have gotten some pieces of my royal mind, u better bring back my ppls comments o. rubbish and nonsense. u said u will restore the things soon but apparently u ppl at google are also on African timing.....let me hear any of u oyibo ppl say dat we dnt have concept of time again...anofia
• topic on my mind: out of wedlock pregnancies. now i dnt even know if its right to ask is it right or wrong because there maybe many nuances. i know where the Christian stand is on the issue but i guess its more complicated. wo i will tackle the issue when im more coherent....u can sha drop ur thots now or wait till then
• sorry that i havenet replied to previous comments. combination of busy schedule, laziness, mood swings and blogger having some scon scon. will get to it ASAP.
• oh ive been cooking like crazy and oh i eat the meat and other orisirisi in my soup and stew before it is ready. den i continue to finish d meat and orisirisi even after food is done....leaving soup and stew behind. oh den when i say im cooking dey will ask me if im getting fat......e mi ke!!!!! fat isnt in my dictionary....im only getting fully endowed. 
• Now I leave u with the song im currently feeling since i cant think of anything else to write....lol...thanks for tolerating and obliging the rant.....it is now 8.56am

25 questions

Borrowed from Myne :)


 1.  Do you have any pets?


Tufiakwa!!! And for those who have, please keep it on a leash in ur house biko.


2.  Name 3 things that are physically close to you?


Phone, laptop and cup or shilled water


3. What's the weather like right now?


Can't be bothered to go outside but it looks hot even tho inside feels cold, wo i dnt know


4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed?


I can drive small and so far I haven't crashed....thank God but ive been involved in one sha. dats d day i knew i was an area girl...chei smh


5. What time did you wake up this morning?


7am ish by one yeye call from 9ja...hisss den i re-awoke by like 10am or 11am


6. When was the last time you showered?


Few hours ago


7.  What was the last movie you saw?


Fifa agent (Nollywoodlove) and georgia rule on lifetime i think


8. What does your last message say?


Dats not good o


9. What's your ring tone?


Default nokia ringtone.......tirinrinrin tirinririn tirinrin....or something like dat


10. Have you ever been to a different country?

Yelse


11.   Do you like sushi?


Anything Asian (except like Indian, Pakistani or Afghan) I dont chop


12.Where do you buy your groceries ?


Harris Teeter and online for d african stuffs (by the way im still looking for good online places....one place did me 419 before)


13. Have you ever taken medication to help you sleep faster


Nope......if it start, addiction no ni but God has been faithful.....huge improvement from before


14. How many siblings do you have?


2 or 3.....dnt ask me :)


15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop


Laptop......trying to get a new one. any suggestions will be deeply appreciated :)


16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?


Talk to d hand but not d face....85!!!


17. Do you wear contacts or glasses


 I get eye for back of head sef....no seeing aid needed :)


18. Do you color your hair


No


19. Tell me something you are planning to do today?


Attempt to sew and watch more 9ja films and maybe get some "real" work in too sha and oh catch love and hip hop and mob wives and maybe bethany but i doubt d bethany one jo


20. When was the last time you cried


Not too sure 


21. Whats your perfect pizza topping


I dont eat pizza....yes call me weird


22. Do you prefer hamburgers or cheeseburgers?


None but hamburgers if need be


23. Have you ever had an all-nighter


Try not to.....oh maybe when im travelling back to 9ja...im always packing late cos im buying stuff for half of lagos


24. Whats your eye-color


Black or brown...i neva check


25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?


Surely and everly......pepsi tastes like watered down coke......and dats not necessarily a bad thing

UPDATE: Osama bin Laden has been killed

UPDATE: ok so according to CNN, Osama has been killed o. they said he was killed by the US in his/a mansion in Islamabad. I thought he was in Afghanistan but apparently he has been hiding in Pakistan in "plain sight" so they are saying there may be more quanta between US and Pakistan. I hope this is not another excuse for war o biko. And what will happen to Al Queda worldwide? I'm guessing they will vex. Someone said he will send a video tomorrow morning and say he is alive. Well when Obama announces i will be back. they are already "celebrating" outside the white house.

UPDATE 2: ok so obama has given his speech o. he has confirmed that true true osama has been killed o. i am by far not an obama fan but the speech was short and to the point. apparently, they had gotten the tip on him last august and last week they felt good enough to go ahead with an attack and obama gave the go ahead and they killed him. A small team of american intelligence officials and they got support from the Pakistani government and no civilian was killed. He was killed in Abbotabad and not Islamabad.

****All this is well and good o but my fear is the Al Queda retaliation. Thousands of parents and families are coming in over the next 2 weeks for graduation and stuff. people are going home outside the US so all this is scary/confusing to me. and these americans don't waste time o. they have already gathered at the white house and are partying it up. Apparently there was a "dead or alive" order signed by Bush on his head. NOTE TO KATE: u see when u steal my future husband, you can't enjoy the media spot light for too long.

Osama don kpai!!!

According to yahoo news the world most wanted man is dead. that US has the body and Obama will announce that very soon (sunday nite....U.S time). is it true or na rumor cos no offence to the US but this is unbelievable. how did he die? by himself or did they kill him?

My first blog award!!!!!!!!

Given to me by the lovely wealthy blogger but I had forgotten about it o chei. Anyway the rules of the award are:

Part 1: 7 facts about me

• I am a crazy Arsenal fan so needless to say I am so glad WE BEAT MAN U TODAY. Chelsea fans you can thank us lara
• I am not too crazy about english gospel music. I prefer the ones in 9ja languages, especially those ibo ones that they used olden days voice enhancer/auto tune to do...PRINCESS NJIDEKE OKEKE AND HUSBAND
• I hate working out but I need to get on that treadmill ASAP
• I hate all sorts of animals........dogs aren't my best friends and cats aren't cute. infact cats sef are winchi winchi
• When I am not watching 9ja films, I am watching: teen mom, 16 & pregnant, law & order: SVU, mob wives, the game (this season was too mature jo..hiss), say yes to the dress, real housewives of atlanta and OC (the rest are too annoying), love and hip hop....thats all for now
• I hate making my hair. I can't sit down for anything longer than relaxer and sew-in weave
• I cook and clean to de-stress (about to add sewing to that)

Part 2: Pass the award to 15 other blogs and notify them....this one go hard small but lemme try. 

Surprise

Prism.......this is just bribe for you to do that sewing post :)

Secret lilies

Nike royals

MenaUkudo......miguor

omalicha

Myne

coy-intovert

9jafoodie......a taste is worth a million words

Vyvyka

Yeoal

deolascope

Mr Tee

Nikkisho

Chizy Spyware

honorary mention: GEJ.....when he visits my blog

Prayer for the month of May: Faith

"Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep." Psalm 121: 4
"For the vision [is] yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Habakkuk 2 : 3


***In the mighty name of Jesus, the strength and faith that we need to keep on keeping on, that we need to remain steadfast till out moment of breakthrough, that we need to be patient so that our blessings shall not pass us by, father provide for us in abundance in Jesus name. Amen

Husband snatchers = Victoria + Kate

Thief number 2

Thief number 1

So while the world is celebrating this william and kate people I am here chei. He was supposed to marry me o. As an olori to prince something but no o, dis kate lady pulled a fast one on me. she will be doing gentle gentle but she use 419 grab d prince from me. This is not the first time a british lady is snatching my future husband. Victoria did it with beckham and i didnt talk. she now proceeded to start to born football field for him so she can keep him on lock down now and keep me out. she doesnt know dat one visit to baba nd she is out. well i still have hope in harry....dat girlfriend of his better watch out o. but taking the high road as the loving person that I am, Olori wishes the Prince and Duchess of Cambridge (good for u dem no give u princess yet ole!) a very happy married life and Mrs Beckham you will give birth safely too o in Jesus name....Amen ;-)